In honor of National Adoption Month - My Foster Story :)

Most of you already know I am a foster mom. Before I started fostering, I pictured foster parents to be these ugly, mean, dirty people they play in movies. Hopefully no one sees me that way! ;) I will start this story from the very beginning. And I'll try not to tell a story like Rose from Golden Girls.
Right after Mike and I married, my mom started fostering. She mainly took drug and alcohol babies, and little preemies. These children broke my heart and our whole family fell in love with every one of them. I knew then we are all, as people, capable of loving anybody..no matter DNA, background, family history or race. These kids are innocent and didn't ask to be put in these situations! Anyway, I need to get off my soap box...
Mike and I had Mason, then 2 yrs later Ella. I believe it was Mike that suggested doing foster care when Ella was 3. We thought about it, and thought why not? At least we can take the classes and see how it goes. No pressure!
The longer the classes went, the more we wanted to do it. We wanted a child that was younger than both our kids, preferably an infant. Our classes took about 10 weeks, a lot of paper work, and a couple home studies. Finally we were approved!
It was a little frustrating at first...a couple of people we took classes with already got calls, and was so excited. It took us 3 months to get a call. And what a call! :) One afternoon I got a call that there was a 3 day old baby being taken from the mother that needed a placement now. All I knew was he was a boy, and bi-racial. I said "YES! We'll take him! Wait...let me call Mike to make sure. I'll call you right back. But put me down as a yes!" Mike and I agreed we wouldn't make any decisions without discussing it first. So I did call, and he was very interested (I knew he would be anyway). 45 Minutes later, little "J" arrived at my house. I was instantly in love, but tried to hold back. I knew the plan was for him to be put back with his mom. But I never knew how much I could love another child as much as my own. He needed a mother, a father, and a family. We didn't know it yet, but we needed him as well.
His mom had a plan to follow, but never followed through. She did have visits once a week, so I got to know her a little. Yes, she has issues...but sometimes some of these people are also victims of their surroundings and how they were raised. She did not have a happy childhood, sadly. But it became very noticeable that she wouldn't be getting him back.
I'm starting to sound like Rose, so I'll hurry this up. After a LOT of ups and downs, and a lot of stress, TPR has occurred!! (Termination of Parental Rights). This basically means we get to adopt him now! It's just a matter of paper-work and he's officially ours. Although he's been "mine" the minute I saw him at my door-step in a car seat. He's brought our whole family so much joy. He's such a happy and funny baby...I can't even imagine life without him now. My kids adore him, and of course, he loves them too. It's amazing how well he seems to have just fit in with us all.
People say "oh, he's so lucky he got placed with a good family!" But truly, I feel like WE are the blessed ones. All the stress, and ups and downs of Foster Care was so worth it. Hopefully, it won't take much longer for the adoption to go through and we can officially call him son and brother! To us, he's always been our son, and the kids brother...but I had to be careful what to tell the kids. I didn't want them to get too attached and get their hearts broken if/when he went home. Now, we can breathe and relax some.
I can't wait to post again once the adoption goes through! :)
I encourage anyone even thinking about doing Foster Care, to give it a try!! The classes are free, so you really have nothing to lose. It has opened my eyes and reminded me how hard life is for most people, and how much suffering goes on even right down our street!
"J" may not be our DNA, but that doesn't matter. We are now a family of 5 hearts with one beat.

Our Love

I think being a mom is one of the hardest things I have ever done. At the same time, it's one of the most rewarding, too. But I find I doubt myself more than ever now. I'm sure all you moms (and dads too) will agree...you never now what is the "right" punishment, or the "right" thing to do in any circumstance. I have relaxed the more kids I have, but I still wonder every single day if I'm doing all this the right way! I want my kids to be healthy, have great self-esteems (but not turn out conceited), love God, and have morals...any morals will do at this point! haha
It's come to my attention this year the importance of love...most especially unconditional love. We've had a hard year this year. Harder than we've ever had. Mike's job is moving on up (or west) to California, we've had some extended family issues that have affected my kids in a negative way, money has been tight, and all the ups and downs of Foster Care. It's been a year from hell, to be honest! Trying to not get stressed out in front of the kids is almost impossible! And even if you try to hide situations, kids just feel tension; they know something is going on, even if they don't know the details. Then of course, they start acting out and it turns into a vicious (and I mean vicious!) cycle.
Ella turned to me one day and said "you don't even love me!!!" Of course if you know Ella, you know this was said very dramatically. But it got me thinking anyway. So I sat them down and told all my kids..."There is NOTHING that you could ever do that would make me not love you anymore. My love is forever!" This seemed to sink in, and they acted so happy to hear that. I started thinking that my family has been like that, growing up. We've all been though A LOT together, and even though we get mad at each other sometimes, we still love each other very much and nothing will ever change that.
I can only hope and pray my kids can say the same thing one day. I will always love them...nothing will ever take that away from us. Through thick or thin, rich or poor, we're blessed to have each other and our love.