I think being a mom is one of the hardest things I have ever done. At the same time, it's one of the most rewarding, too. But I find I doubt myself more than ever now. I'm sure all you moms (and dads too) will agree...you never now what is the "right" punishment, or the "right" thing to do in any circumstance. I have relaxed the more kids I have, but I still wonder every single day if I'm doing all this the right way! I want my kids to be healthy, have great self-esteems (but not turn out conceited), love God, and have morals...any morals will do at this point! haha
It's come to my attention this year the importance of love...most especially unconditional love. We've had a hard year this year. Harder than we've ever had. Mike's job is moving on up (or west) to California, we've had some extended family issues that have affected my kids in a negative way, money has been tight, and all the ups and downs of Foster Care. It's been a year from hell, to be honest! Trying to not get stressed out in front of the kids is almost impossible! And even if you try to hide situations, kids just feel tension; they know something is going on, even if they don't know the details. Then of course, they start acting out and it turns into a vicious (and I mean vicious!) cycle.
Ella turned to me one day and said "you don't even love me!!!" Of course if you know Ella, you know this was said very dramatically. But it got me thinking anyway. So I sat them down and told all my kids..."There is NOTHING that you could ever do that would make me not love you anymore. My love is forever!" This seemed to sink in, and they acted so happy to hear that. I started thinking that my family has been like that, growing up. We've all been though A LOT together, and even though we get mad at each other sometimes, we still love each other very much and nothing will ever change that.
I can only hope and pray my kids can say the same thing one day. I will always love them...nothing will ever take that away from us. Through thick or thin, rich or poor, we're blessed to have each other and our love.
